Tuning In vs Speaking Out

Pinterest Post - Quotes 2 - from FB

Most people with voice wounds tend to feel restriction in their self-expression. However, sometimes a voice wound shows up as speaking up without thinking or without depth in what you’re saying – verbal vomit, if you will. Regardless of how your voice wound shows up, the first step in freeing your voice and healing the voice wound is to tune in to your inner voice and what your spirit wants to say.

The voice wound is the place where you hold emotional, spiritual, or even physical trauma (not necessary near your throat) from those who have tried to silence you, dismiss you, or suppress your self-expression. It is the place where you feel restricted in your ability to speak up for yourself, where you feel like nobody wants to hear what you have to say, or you fear possible rejection when you step into your full authentic self.

Freeing your voice allows you to not only step into the fullness of your self, your message, and your purpose, but also takes you beyond that into the JOY that comes from a connection to your inner voice and the satisfaction that comes from living out your purpose. Healing these wounds can result in freedom in many other areas of life beyond how you live your purpose in business or career, including mental and physical health, relationships, and spiritual connection to the earth and your ancestors.



Samhain Card Spread

Samhain Card Spread (1)

Samhain Blessings! This time of year is the time to honor and connect with our ancestors. Sometimes they teach us how we want to live, and sometimes they teach us how we do NOT want to live. Both are important lessons and we can express our gratitude for both types of lessons.

Use any Oracle or Tarot card deck of your choice, use the questions in your Akashic records, or any other divination method of your choosing ❤

Share your spread in the comments (or tag me on social media) if you’d like!

Your body is a perfect temple…now

BKM-20180531-0303 (1)
[Image: A side view of a woman of color laying on a massage table. Marieke, a white woman with a fat body, is standing with her hands on the woman’s head as she gives her Reiki treatment.] PC: BKM Photography at Amber & Honey. Model: Linda Mortenson of Little Red Kit
[CW: Mention of weight fluctuations]
Loving yourself is a radical act, especially when that includes loving a body that is fat.

Over the past 10 years or so my body and I have been on quite a journey. I discovered the body positivity movement and that was one of my first forays into online activism and social justice. But it was deeply personal because I carried a lot of wounds around my weight and size. I released a lot of society’s expectations, family expectations, and rejected the diet industry. 

My body has fluctuated a lot since then as well. Pregnancy in particular started a rollercoaster of weight fluctuations. But through it all, I stayed pretty body positive. In fact, pregnancy and nursing gave me a lot of respect for what my body could do, despite some difficulties through both.

I’ve also fluctuated between loving my body, loving my body and wanting it to change, being okay with my body and wanting it to change, and moments of frustration that I’m at my highest non-pregnant adult weight.

This morning while in the Akashic Records, I heard “Love your body and it will turn to a deeper love of yourself”. It was a reminder that I need to love my body unconditionally. Treat it gently, take good care of it (regardless of my composition), do things that make me feel good.

The body is the container that holds our truest self, our energy, our vibrancy, and the way we connect with others. I have heard people use the idea of the body being a temple as a way to shame and say that we therefore need to spend all this time keeping it beautiful and pristine (meaning: eat a certain way and work out so you look like a model). But that’s a lie! Our bodies are beautiful, pristine temples ALL THE TIME. Yes, give it a good cleaning regularly, take care of it as best you can. But the main purpose of a temple is that it holds something sacred. It is what it contains that makes it a temple, not what it looks like. 

So, love yourself. Love the body that holds the sacredness of you. It is the perfect body for you at this moment. It may change as you change, and that’s okay too.

By the Seat of My Pants

I admit it…I tend to do things by the seat of my pants. I’ve tried to overcompensate in the past by planning to the gills (and spent more time planning than doing), but then I’d get other inspirations that didn’t go along with my plans, so those plans I worked so hard on would fly out the window.

I recently had a Soul Empowerment reading with Simran N’golet of Get Real with Your Soul and she mentioned that I’m someone who figures things out by DOING. And she totally nailed it. She encouraged me to cancel and throw away that need to plan things out, ignore the people who say I need to make a master plan, and just keep doing things my own way. Cause you know what? IT WORKS FOR ME!

So often we have this tendency to fit ourselves into the mold that society has created. But we are all unique and have something special to offer. Maybe the mold was created with you in mind, but maybe, like me, you don’t fit. Why try to force yourself into it?!

When I try to force things to happen within a detailed goal map master plan, I end up feeling frustrated, anxious, and like I’m trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn’t work. I might eke something out, but it ends up being soulless. However, when I wait on Spirit to guide me, and wait for those intuitive soul nudges, everything falls into place perfectly. The words come easily, the things I need arrive right on time, and inspiration flows. I am so much more productive this way!

Our family is starting to venture into homeschooling in an official capacity in the Fall. I was recently reading an article about unschoolers who went on to pursue higher education (unschooling is a style of homeschooling that takes a child-led approach versus parent/teacher-led). I realized yet again that I am an unschooler at heart, even though my family took a different approach to homeschooling. I have a wild heart that I am learning to embrace. I love learning and will follow my passions with fierceness until I’m satisfied and ready to move on to the next thing.

The past few months I haven’t done much planning ahead, despite moving on from one business to launch something totally different. I’ve been gradually letting go and listening to my intuition and doing things when I’m lit up about them. I’ve been discovering I have passions that were in “hibernation” because I felt I had to fit into a box in order to do them. Writing is one of those things (expect a lot more from me in that department!).

Even though I’ve launched my business officially, I’m still learning more (I’m currently in an Akashic Record Reading certification course with Satwinder Simone Isser and am always continuing my anti-racism and social justice education), I’m still working on new offerings (a more expansive self care program will be launching by the Fall), and listening to intuitive nudges about other things to work on (like an oracle card deck). I’m also hearing a lot about what to let go of. I’m letting go of everything that doesn’t serve me, even if it’s painful. I’m learning to be still and listen to the quiet voice that guides.

There is wildness, there is abundance, there is freedom, there is gratitude, there is joy. I have not felt this free in a very long time. And my hope is that anyone who encounters me and my work in any capacity is led to more freedom. I want my clients and customers to grow beyond what I can give them – to flourish in their own wild abundance.

How are you learning to embrace your wild nature, your freedom, and your unique self in this moment? Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear from you.

(PS: if you’d like some healing and empowering work to help you on your journey, I would be honored to have you in my safe and sacred space for a Free Your Voice session.)


My Inner Lioness

My Inner Lioness – A manifesto of my spiritual journey

I wrote a story for you.
This explains where I am now in my spiritual journey and I felt was important for me to share before I start my new business in earnest. I need to be 100% authentic in order to full share my unique gifts with the world and a lot has changed in my spiritual journey.
I was a teenager/young adult when I started to discover my charismatic spiritual gifts. I would pray for people and see images and sense their meaning for the person I was praying for. I would sometimes sense messages without an image. Looking back, I have often felt a stronger connection to the Holy Spirit (the unseen, guiding, and intuitive characteristics of God). There were no dad issues to cloud my relationship, as the Holy Spirit didn’t have a clear gender like Father God and Jesus. I certainly prayed to the entire trinity, but I just related to that ethereal aspect of God on a different level.
I went to a charismatic conference and went up for a prophetic word (message from God) for myself, and what stuck with me most was that she said I would be a spiritual leader like Deborah (the only female Judge and leader before Israel had kings), that I was strong like a lioness, protective, and someone who would be an example to others.
I got a similar prophetic word from someone I knew who saw me leading people up a mountain, looking like Joan of Arc. At the time I had hair about 2.5-3 feet long, and I took it as a sign I was meant to cut my hair (I feel more like my true self now that my hair is short again!)
No matter what church I was in, I often had a place of leadership of some kind, most often leading musical worship in some capacity. I’ve been using my musical gifts in church pretty much my whole life.
Nearly four years ago I started learning and educating myself about systems of oppression and racism in our country (and the world in general). I saw how the “system” of Christianity didn’t always align with Jesus’ teachings as I understood them. I saw how so many churches and prominent Christian leaders rejected people in both obvious ways (rejection of LGBTQIA+, women in leadership) and not so obvious ways (supporting people and political ideologies that perpetuate systems of oppression). I was involved in churches that were closer to allyship, supported women in leadership, and whose leadership ideology supported anti-racism. But stopped short of open, full support of progressive social justice. This isn’t to say the work they do isn’t important for some people groups, and they are able to reach people earlier on their journeys towards dismantling white supremacy. But I couldn’t continue being a part of something with such a huge cognitive dissonance between the grace and social justice work of Jesus himself, and the fear and oppression inherent in conservative mainstream Christianity. How could I possibly be a part of something that was starting to go against my journey towards dismantling my internalized white supremacy and work towards leveraging my privilege? So I slowly backed away.

I went through a period of shedding the patriarchal and oppressive elements of my faith until I got to a core of who Jesus is. And I began to open myself up to other ways of thinking within Christian tradition. I discovered Christian mysticism, Contemplative Christianity, and the idea of nonduality – that God isn’t “out there”, but a part of us. That seeking to transform our minds into the mind of Christ is to become one with Christ in the truest sense.

Through this, I also became more open to other forms of connecting with God that conservative Christianity often views as “evil” or “witchcraft”. I found that connection to the earth by paying attention to the cycles of life and the world (phases of the day, lunar cycles, menstrual cycles, and yes, even astrological movements), and utilizing God’s creation to support my physical, emotional/mental, and spiritual well being (herbs, essential oils, crystals), helped me feel more in tune with myself and supported my spiritual growth. I discovered that card reading, such as Tarot and Oracle cards, could be used to connect with God and hear the Holy Spirit much in the same way as casting lots in the Bible or spirit-led prayer (and that more Christians utilize them than you might think).

Ultimately, I’ve shed the judgment and spiritual assumptions made about Christian spirituality that have become commonplace in Western mainstream Christianity. I am passionate about supporting oppressed and marginalized people groups. Who am I to judge how someone connects to God or the Universe? The Holy Spirit guides us and speaks to us all individually. I’m done saying “This is the way it is”, because God is bigger than my and my capacity for understanding in this human existence.

I realize that this may alienate me from some people. That some of my Christian friends may think of me as a heretic, a “lost” Christian, or that I’ve fallen away from the faith. But I can tell you that after years of feeling far away from God and like something was missing, I am more connected than I have been in a VERY long time. I have a stronger sense of purpose and clarity on how I can serve people.

If you don’t resonate with my words and don’t want to be aligned with me, that’s okay. I wish you well on your own spiritual journey.

If you DO resonate with my words, I hope that I can be of service to you! My services can be adapted to fit your current level of comfort with spiritual things. Don’t want me to use crystals during a session? Totally fine! Only want me to use my Jesus Oracle cards (with Scripture verses on them) during an intuitive reading? I can do that!

Ultimately my goal is to help YOU connect with your own spirituality and inner voice, and that’s going to be different for every person. The more we connect to ourselves (our inner Christ consciousness, the words the Holy Spirit speaks to us when we are wholly listening, our higher selves, or whatever language you use) on a deep spiritual level, the more we are able to come alongside our brothers and sisters on this earth with us. The more we are able to connect in true equality to create support systems and community the more EVERYONE gets free. The more we connect with our inner voices, the more we are able to bring our unique gifts to the world and we ALL need to do that in order to rise up in love for one another.

Keep an eye out for some of the ways I plan to support equality through my business:

* Inclusive marketing (ie: not just cis skinny white people)
* Scholarship program for intersectional activists and POC/LGBTQIA+ folx who serve others (ie: spiritual leaders, doulas, etc)
* Centering POC/LGBTQIA+ voices and services, including a recommendation page and continuing to share their public work through my communication outlets.
* Paying POC/LGBTQIA+ spiritual leaders for services and supporting them through Patreon, etc (ie: not just taking their emotional work that they do for free).
* Continuing to do the emotional work of educating white/cis people about issues of privilege.
I am so excited to be on this journey!

Humbly and with Love,

[Photo Collage by Marieke Schwartz]